Anthropology
by FunkyWashingMachine
Summary: Romelle seeks to hasten Allura's recovery by showing her all the nifty Earth stuff


"Princess Allura!" Romelle called as she opened the door. "How are you feeling today?"

"Do you really want to know the truth?" said Allura.

"Of course I do."

"Well. Actually, I feel awful."

"I was afraid of that," Romelle said, dropping a bag onto the floor. "That's why I brought you these fascinating Earth artifacts to cheer you up!"

Allura smiled faintly.

"Well, that's quite sweet of you."

"I know!" Romelle dug through the bag. "Just wait until you see THIS one!"

She pulled out a little ceramic man.

"Oh…" said Allura. "What's that for?"

"It's a tiny lawn guardian!" Romelle said, handing it to Allura. "Humans put these all over their properties to ward off evil spirits!"

"Hmm," Allura turned the object over in her hands. "None of the Paladins have mentioned evil spirits."

"Well, there's a lot of different spiritual beliefs on this planet. Lots of Earthlings believe in a giant lawn guardian who visits their house once a year and puts things in their socks!"

Allura chuckled and brushed a speck of dirt off the gnome.

"Do they believe he wards off evil spirits, too?"

"Oh, I forgot to ask that," Romelle said, rummaging through the bag again. "But he's a popular religious figure on this planet. And THIS," she came up with something else, "is something the Earthlings use to hit things with!"

Allura took the flyswatter.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure!"

"It really has taken me a while to understand them."

"Oh, they're FASCINATING," Romelle said. "And look at THIS one!" She pulled something else out of the bag. "A hand-held hot air machine! Think of all the uses for this!"

"I'm not sure I'm up to that much thinking," Allura said.

"That's all right," said Romelle. "I'll leave it with you so you can think of some later. I think the mice might enjoy it!"

"I'm sure they would," said Allura.

"Oh, and THIS," Romelle went back into the bag and took out a metal object. "I have to give this back to Lance's mother, but look! You spin the handle and the blades go round and round, but they never hit each other! Do you know what they use it for?"

Allura tried it out.

"I've no idea."

"For cooking! Actually, they had me bring you a piece of cake, too!" Romelle fished out a Tupperware container. "It looked a lot nicer before the journey here, but Lance's mother said to expect that."

"Well. Tell her thank you," Allura said. "But I don't think I'll be up to eating it. You should enjoy it for me."

"Oh, Princess, I can't do that!" Romelle said. "She made it specially for you."

"It really is fine," Allura said.

"Well, if you insist," Romelle took a fork out of the bag and opened the container. "She frosted it in three different colors!"

"Did she use your favorite?"

"She used all the ones I asked her to! And look what Lance showed me!"

She shook up a can of soda and opened it.

"That does seem like something Lance would show you."

Romelle sat on the foot of the bed and ate a forkful of cake.

"You'll love the Earth cake," she said. "It tastes a bit like a korfle, but less strothy."

"You have some on your face," Allura said.

"Oh. Whoops."

Allura smiled and put down the egg beater. Romelle took another bite of cake.

"But I do have some more things to show you," she dropped some crumbs in her lap.

"It's all right," Allura laughed. "You can finish the cake first."

"But this one is so interesting!" Romelle put down the cake. Out of the bag came a flat, orange item. "This is illustrated Earth literature!"

Allura sat up.

"Do you know what it says?"

"I do! Lance's nephew read it to me!" She took a little stuffed dinosaur out of the bag and gave it to Allura. "You'll need this to listen to the story."

Allura turned over the doll, and Romelle moved up next to her and opened the book.

"So, we have a short, happy person and a tall, angry person," Romelle said. "And the short person says, 'Hello! My name is Sam!' And the tall person says, 'Well Sam, I do not like you, or your eggs, or your green meat.'"

She turned the page.

"'What if I put them over here?' 'I still don't like them.' 'What if we go even farther away?' 'No, I still don't like them!' 'Let's drive up a tree, maybe you'll like them now!'"

Allura chuckled.

"'All of these Earth creatures want to see you eat the eggs and meat! Doesn't that make you feel pressured?' 'This isn't helping, Sam, and now we're falling into the ocean!' 'Maybe you'd like them wet!' 'As a matter of fact, I do!' And that's the end!"

Allura was laughing a bit more.

"Well. I didn't understand a lot of that."

"Neither did I," said Romelle. "But it's certainly an interesting piece of their culture, isn't it?"

"Oh, of course," said Allura. "What's that on your hand?"

"Oh!" Romelle showed her. "That's a special ring that changes color based on your emotions! Just like a mishploff!"

"So what's it saying right now?"

"Hmm," Romelle checked the mood ring. "I think that says 'angry.' I'm not sure it's working properly."

"Well, maybe you can go get it fixed," Allura said.

"I should have asked for another one," said Romelle. "Then you could have one, too." She took off the ring. "Try it on, maybe it'll work on YOU."

Allura paused, then put it on. The ring turned yellow.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"I think that means 'upset,'" said Romelle. "Is that true?"

"No," said Allura.

"Are you sure?"

"Well… only a little."

"Can I do anything for you?"

"You already are, Romelle… I've been upset for a long time now."

"I'm sorry," said Romelle. "You're sure you wouldn't like any cake?"

"I'm sure."

"Well, I'm sure Lance's mother will make you another one," Romelle said. "She's so happy that everyone's back."

Allura's smile faltered a little more.

"Yes, I'm sure she is."

Romelle looked down and put away the book. She sighed.

"I… I'm _happy_ for them, but…"

Allura reached over and touched her.

"I know, Romelle. I'm sorry that I was too late."

"It's not _you_ who was too late."

Allura put an arm around her.

"Don't think that. Romelle, you're one of the bravest people I know."

Romelle hugged her back, wiping her face on Allura's sleeve.

"Thank you."

"No, thank _you."_


End file.
